How to make 2025 your best year
For anyone feeling stuck
Do you feel like you never have enough time?
Are you stuck when other people are reaching their goals? Is your life slipping between your fingers?
Chances are you are allowing yourself to be distracted. That distraction has frozen you in time.
Oh, I’m right there with you.
For most of my adult life, I’ve used distractions to escape my problems and trick myself into feeling a sense of progress. Video games, partying, temporary relationships, traveling, and starting products and companies but never following through.
And, of course, the worst of all: “If I just learn this one last thing, then I’m ready.”
But of course, it does not matter how much you know, if you never take action.
So, how the hell do you stop being distracted and reclaim your momentum in life?
You are at war, whether you know it or not
The truth is, we are at war.
We are fighting a constant battle for our attention.
Everything around you is designed to catch your eye, distract your focus and steal your attention.
The number one job in every consumer-facing business—from social media and apps to TV, books, music, YouTube, TikTok, marketing, advertising, sales, and politics—is to grab and hold your attention. It is the fundamental pillar.
They have whole departments full of people who’s job it is to exploit your unconscious primal mind to trick you into staying just a few more minutes. Just another swipe or two. Because the second you click away, they no longer make money off you.
Your attention is the gold that tech giants fight over.
We are losing the battle
Most of us are fighting a losing battle.
I recently read that in 2024, the average person on earth spent 6 hours and 40 minutes every day in front of a screen. If you live to be 80, that’s about 18 years of your life—a whole childhood. And that’s the average.
That’s where the time you are looking for is. Sure, you use screens for work and well-deserved entertainment. I am a gamer at heart, and TV-shows are really good nowadays, but truthfully - a lot of time is just scrolling and mindless consumption.
Every time you pick up and unlock your phone. Every time you glance at a notification. Every time you tap on the screen. That’s when you swipe your life away.
Do you actually experience life?
The other day, I listened to a podcast with Tony Robbins, the self-help guru. I knew about him but had never read anything he had done before.
In this interview, he told an interesting story about himself (as a child) and his stepfather and how they, from the same situation, experienced two completely different things.
Tony then said:
“I don’t believe you experience life. You only experience the part of life that you pay attention to.”
I had not thought about it like that before. That really resonated with my own life experiences.
Three people can have the same conversation and end up with three different views on what was said and decided. They just paid attention to different things.
The mother in the playground with her phone in her face does not experience the tiny adventures her child is having.
Do you have a goal and a direction?
Let me hit you with something profound:
When you are out for a walk, you’ll end up where you are looking.
Ok, Mattis?
Yes, it’s a silly statement. But think about it for a second.
You can’t expect to end up where you are going if you are not looking where you walk. (You might actually get run over by a car.)
The same is true in life. You can't expect to reach your goals if you don’t focus on them.
Adding it together
So, we only experience the part of life that we pay attention to, and our lives will gravitate toward what we pay attention to.
So what does it mean when I spend hours every day watching YouTube videos, scrolling TikTok, and swiping on Instagram?
Yes. My attention is focused on other people’s experiences. I am living other people’s lives.
And since time is limited, that means I cannot fully experience my own.
That’s why I feel stuck.
If your attention is on other people and what they are doing, your momentum stops.
How to turn the tide
I think you get it, but I want to be as clear as possible:
If you want to make 2025 a great year, you must take control of your attention.
This is the way.
When you do, you will reclaim your time. You will be more present as a parent and a friend. You will start gaining more agency in your work. You will have time to build your goals and dreams.
You might even be bored again! (Which is awesome - more on that another time.)
My Simple Method
My method for taking control of my attention is so simple I almost don’t want to share it. But here it is. I call it “The Attention Check”.
Set a 1-hour timer on your phone.
When it rings, evaluate where your attention is: Are you doing the most important thing?
Restart the timer.
That’s it. We are actually using the same tricks as the apps do: Using a notification to steal your attention.
The difference is: We are doing it in the positive direction.
Here’s some examples of how it has helped me:
I find myself on TikTok when I should be working → Get back to work
I find myself in a heated discussion on Slack → Calm down and start guiding the discussion to a constructive place
I find myself longing for my kids to go to sleep → Get down and join their playing
I find myself stressing at work → Go out for a walk
I find myself awake when I shouldn’t be → Get to bed
For every hour, you get another chance to get on track. Instead of writing off the whole day if you got to a bad start - you can always pick right back up.
How often do the Attention Check help me change what I am doing into something more important? About 50% of the time. In my book, that’s pretty amazing. I am living a much more focused life, on my own terms.
If I could twist your arm and force you to remember only one thing from today, it’s this:
Pay Attention to your Attention
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